By Noora Haraholma
I actually realized only now that I have been practicing some kind of solo presencing since I was young. Whenever I feel that I am stuck with my life and I need to figure out what I really want from life, I go walking in the nature. Walking has always got my ideas flowing and it helps me to explore options outside the box. However, this time I followed the instructions given in the assignment and did not go for a walk but instead sat down. The presencing exercise was a bit challenging for me this week since I had to do it in Medellín which is a huge city that never sleeps. However, I was able to find a spot close to the nature in my hotel’s garden. I started by closing my eyes and tried to ignore all the noises around me. The weather was really sunny and warm and I was feeling happy because of that. I am rather bad at staying still and away from my phone but after trying for a while I was able to start thinking about my authentic self.
One of the characteristics that defines my authentic self is ambition and a need to become a better version of myself. If I feel that I am not doing well enough I feel anxious. Ambition is also related to my willingness to learn new things. I am rather curious by nature and learning something that I did not know before is really interesting for me. I think that it helps me to understand the world and other people better. One of the things restricting my curiosity is that sometimes I am afraid to take a leap and go out from my comfort zone. I also think that my authentic self is related to the wellbeing of other people and I want to feel that I am contributing to the others’ lives in a positive way. Though at the moment I feel a bit inadequate since there are so many things that I could do to help other people but I am not able to do them yet.
Most of the time I am too busy to be present and to think about myself. I stress too much about what the other people expect from me and forget to think about whether I am actually heading to a direction where I want to go. Luckily often when I am abroad I get these sudden feelings of inner peace that help me to realize that I am almost the person that I want to be. I feel that traveling helps me to connect with my authentic self because of two reasons. First of all, I am able to learn about new cultures and countries, and therefore it fulfills my curiosity and need to understand the world. Secondly, going far away from home gives new perspectives and it also enables me to see many things that I do not realize at home. I guess being too close to home makes me blind to my everyday life. One of these traveling moments when I felt like myself was in Croatia last summer. I was floating in the sea and suddenly felt really calm. I knew exactly who I was and where I was going. My goals crystallized in my mind and I was full of happiness and motivation. I felt that there was nothing else that I would rather be and I think that in that exact moment I was aligned with my authentic self.
Reflecting on my authentic self made me understand that I should probably stress less about the other people’s expectations and be more forgiving to myself. I am already on my way to become a person that is aligned with my authentic self and I just need to have more faith in myself. I will keep on traveling in the future since it makes me feel happy and like myself. I should try to practice presencing once in a while also in the future in order to check that I am heading to a direction that is aligned with my authentic self.
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