Week 11 Coaching Assignment - Presencing

By Muriel Guillod 

Cape Reinga, Where oceans meet

I tried my first “presencing session” as suggested in this week’s assignment. I went outside, and actually sat in nature for a while. The day was mild, the sun was shining and there was a little breeze, but it wasn’t too cold, so that I could stay and actually enjoy being outside without shivering. I looked at the trees around me, at the flags that were moving in the wind, at the snow which was resisting the warmer temperature and still present on the grass. Then I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. I noticed how I was inspiring and expiring slowly, and how my chest and stomach were moving up and down. I focused on myself, on my body: I felt the cold on my bare hands, the breeze on my cheeks, which made my hair moving, and the sun warming up my face agreeably. I also noticed how I was sitting, i.e. carefully in a position which was taking care of my back while still being comfortable.

After a few minutes, I started to think about what was defining me as a person. How I was seeing myself. What my authentic self is. The first things which popped in my mind were childhood memories. During these happy moments, the person I was the closest to was my grandmother. She taught me so many things, and transmitted me some of my inner values. We used to go for walks every time we could, in summer, fall, winter, spring. No matter. We would walk up the hill where we both lived, throughout the forest, or by the lake, on small paths, and sometimes we would go off the trails and explore. She was really close to nature, and passed me her passion and respect for all living things. She was an accomplice really, and I miss her every day since she passed away. After those images of my early life, I saw more recent ones, pictures and films of my trips around the world, especially about the time when I was in New Zealand. I went back in memories to places where I’ve already experienced some kind of meditation, when I was alone, in beautiful landscapes, with nothing else than the wind whispering at my ear and nature around me. One specific image which appeared in my mind was when I was at the very North edge of New Zealand, the most Northern point of the North Island, Cape Reinga. To go there, it requires to drive hours on a one-way road. Nobody lives there, there’s not much around. Thus it requires a certain will to do the trip, but the destination is worth the time and effort. There, I found a peaceful place, favourable to meditation. Nobody around, and just a small lighthouse, cliffs, and the two oceans – The Tasman sea and the Pacific ocean – joining together but not actually mixing. A wonder: there is no other word. This memory as well as others were peaceful images, coming and going into my mind, and I could still feel the same feelings that what I experienced at that time: this sensation of entirety, of being at peace with myself. These moments were favourable for self-inquiry, and already then I would go into deep questioning, about the sense of life, my goals, my place in the world, what role I had to play. When I think about my authentic self, I usually think of moments where I actually was at peace, meaning that I was aligned with my values and I was being my true self, without judgment, or without any filter of any kind.

This allows me to do the transition towards times in my life where I’ve actually fully experienced my authentic self. As a matter of facts, the first image which appeared in my mind when I asked myself this question, was the face of a very close friend, who became really important in my life, as we share a lot together and have a lot in common. I actually met him not so long ago, only around a year and a half ago, in my master studies. At first, he was just a good friend and fellow student, but as weeks passed, we realized that we had many interests in common and chose the same courses without even talking about it, just because they appealed to both of us. We thus became the best team in every group work we had to do and spent all our time to study together, which meant a lot of long hours at the library or at each other’s place. I would always go to him for advice, and he would listen carefully and answer mindfully. His opinion really does matter to me and I would take into account his comments and integrate them in my work or in my life in general. But we would share more than our studies: we both left the region where we grew up and did most of our studies to go to another city, at the opposite side of Switzerland, for our master and wanted to live this new experience wholeheartedly and entirely. We would share both happy as well as hard moments together, parties and laughter on the one side, hard studies and sometimes failures on the other side. Whatever happened, we could count on the support of the other. We never fought together. Even the only one time we were close to have a small argument, we actually never really entered it. We directly handled it by discussing openly about it and actually found out that the reason we felt hurt in our friendship was a lack of attention of each other, which actually was never meant to be. Well, in short, dialogue with him were always and still are natural, easy, and uncomplicated. To sum up, I could really say that I found my soul mate in friendship.

There is another story which came to my mind as when I truly was myself. I already talked shortly about it on some posts on the forum, and will try to make it short and simple here. At my previous workplace, my boss was bullying one of my colleague without any good reason. She was just a mean and nasty person, and probably had some kind of complex and needed to feel superior. In any case, she was tyrannising quite a lot of people around her at work, but this very specific colleague suffered more than any other. As a consequence, I decided to support my colleague, not only by listening to her and being there as a confident, but by publicly taking her defense and going against my boss. What was happening at work was just unbearable for me and I couldn’t stand doing nothing, seeing someone suffer and only watch: that is against my values. I needed to align my behaviour with my inner and profound beliefs. In that situation also, I was my authentic self, no matter what it could cost me.

Finally, the feelings that I experience when I’m being authentic are similar to the feelings of flying. I love being in the air so much, that I wish I could be a bird sometimes. I’ve experienced flying in many ways: skydiving, paragliding, hang-gliding, or in really small planes. When you’re up there, nothing is impossible. You look around, and you see the world more entirely, you have a better global vision of what happens around you. Furthermore, you sense this freedom, there are no barriers, and you are light, so light, released from any burden which could hinder your movements in every-day life.

Well, this might have been a bit long to describe, but here is what I saw and felt when meditating. I wouldn’t say I totally and truly experienced presencing, as I think it requires more than only one try. What is important though is that I opened my heart to this new exercise and would always be able to go back there and continue practicing to fully open it to the world.